overwise, wasted

it is 8:00 at night and i have not looked at the 1500 word paper due at 1:00 tomorrow. i am just not motivated.

i have to burp like nobody's business. i also have garlic breath from the awesome instant mashed potatoes i just had. that was the first dinner i've had in ages. i had the worst weekend. worst. weekend. friday night i was head usher again at a show...after the head usher disaster i was stressed to the max. then i missed my bus. the rest of the show went fine, apart from the FOH driving me insane. saturday i worked an extra three hours. saturday NIGHT i went to bryce's for his going-to-PEI-for-a-month-soon party. it was fun, singing with drunken maritimers trying to rap for a bit. after they left bryce and i had a little dance party in his living room. which turned into the couch. which turned into the bed. when suddenly a condom appeared.
i freaked out. "bryce i am NOT sleepin with you now" i said. i met you two weeks ago. this is the third time i have seen you. i don't even know you. what followed was the world's worst conversation which i don't ever want to have again. i didn't mean to give the wrong impression; i just assumed that someone i am not even dating and who calls me a "good friend" wouldn't think that we are going to have sex now. then again, there are plenty of people who have no problem with that. i am not one of them. he told me that maybe we should do this another time...the timing is all wrong. maybe we shouldnt do it at all.
"bryce" i said "are you telling me you don't want to hang out anymore because i won't put out?"
that's not it all he said. some people arrived. everybody got drunk and high. i had to work at 7 in the morning, and i was scared. the entire situation freaked me out. i sat in bryce's room and cried. i took a cab home at 5:30 in the morning after bryce passed out next to me. "here's twenty dollars...for your cab" he said, handing me a bill. "i don't want money right now...i am not a whore" i told him and left.

i got home at 6. i had a shower, changed, and was at work by 7:30. i worked til 1:30. i was up for 36 hours. i hated it.

return of the bumpasaurus

it rain, rain, rained today. i suppose i should've expected it, and expect some more of it, but still. it was impossible to get out of bed this morning, especially after yesterday. last night went well though. farah who was FOH manager was this crazy middle eastern lady who called me "my angel" and "my sweetheart" and kept messing with me over the headset. "HEAD USHER!" "this is head usher." "nothing, i wanted to make sure you were listening." for the second half we hung out in the office playing solitaire, where i lost every game and farah kept yelling "you loser! you loser! i am going to laugh so hard, i think this will be my death, yes?"

my secret crush on Neanderthal seems to be waning. i say 'seems to be' because depending on what time of day you ask me it seems to differ. i don't know why. i do know now, however, that he is possibly the only other person in the world who knows what the phantom tollbooth is. he also remembered bedknobs and broomsticks far too well for someone who apparently only watched it when they were a kid. i find myself saying "fuck" to everything he says, "fuck thats awesome", "fuck that shit", "for fuck's sake". its not what i would call stimulating conversation. then again, my language has gone down the toilet since i started living on my own.

i have not used construction paper in ages. i just spent the past three hours making a cd for kelly, since her roommate/friend is moving back to alberta tomorrow and we will be watching scary movies at her place. i made a slipcover for it too...on the front is an owl, saying "hoo hoo...who's cd?"
i also just listened to sir mix-a-lot for three solid hours. you didn't think it could be done? well, now it can.

same thing as the other time, but now its your rights versus mine

i'm sorry, what? my blog has been identified as possible spam? just what are you trying to say there, blogger? the internet isnt interested in my thoughts, my doings, my life? isn't that what these blogs are all about. cripes. even the internet doesn't like me right now.

that was a bit of a sorry statement. anyways. this week can suck my balls. after the Head Usher Disaster, my landlords called tuesday night to chew me out for kel and i being too loud. i had no idea watching eddie izzard and laughing hysterically could be overheard. i suppose i should've, but honestly, should someone not have told me? instead, holly apparently waited for two weeks for me to clue in, somehow, that everything i do could be heard. i think there may have been a better way to handle that, on both our ends. i got upset. and everybody knows that this probably wouldn't have been as bad if it weren't for the Weekend Fiasco. damnit.
in other news, i had a job interview at smart set this week. better the devil you know, i suppose. after all, i know smart set like the back of my hand now. i even miss that damn store every now and then. no call so far. fuck.
right now i am in my pjs at 4 in the afternoon, eating noodles and watching the andy griffith show, now that matlock is over. not to be confused with andy griffiths, australian children's writer who was responsible for the cartoon show what's with andy? remember that show? man, he and doug were the shit. last night i stayed up til 1 in the morning catching up on doctor who. oh, david tennant. marry me.
shannon invited me out tonight, but i honestly do not feel like doing anything but staying in these pjs and staying home tonight. that is just too sad an excuse to not go out, so i told her i had english homework. also true. not very likely to get done.

oh, don knotts. marry me.

usha usha usha

well, that was awful. awfulawfulawfulawulawful. i should never be allowed to use a headset. was there not a global memo sent out on that or something?
head ushering was awful. i was so not prepared. i felt unsure all night. also there was a huge mix-up with some seniors and their walkers and their seats, and i ended up getting chewed out by a group of appearingly-sweet old ladies. i felt so bad. then a latecomer was with her friend, but i sat her in the seat that was on her ticket. then another latecomer was blind, so i let her sit in the back in my seat. daphne bramham, who was speaking, didn't exactly inspire me with her talk about polygamist Mormon colonies in Bountiful, BC. maybe because i've already heard and read about it so much (thanks, teila) but more likely because i spent the show either trying to work the headset or grinding my teeth because i was so stressed.
excuse me while i go drown my sorrows in a carton of banana berry juice.