je sais comment

a girl donia who i am going for coffee with tomorrow just asked me what my interests are. i said edith piaf, mini-wheats, old buildings, pretty rainboots, and allen ginsberg.

well that was quite the weekend. saturday night was the jason collett show. i met him. i hugged him. the world imploded. and i died happily.
honestly though, it was an amazing concert. somehow richard's on richards got double booked (there was a fetish party going on after...i had to wade through the fetish-ees to get out) so the band only played for an hour. the opening band...rock plaza central? i loved them. jason was phenomenal. my opinion might not count since i was standing at the edge of the stage with my face turned upward in the utmost ecstatic fangirl expression, but they pulled together by the end and the last song - i'll bring the sun! of all songs - was phenom. phenom. the opening band suddenly appeared onstage with their trumpets and trombones, and i suddenly heard the sound of a cowbell behind me and turned around to see the drummer coming through the crowd, banging on a cowbell for all he was worth, and kelly and i were dancing and clapping and shrieking for all we were worth. it was an amazing moment.

but the show ended by 10, so we made our way to the cambie where we ran into mike and ben and a few other random german buddies. after this point and my fifth ginger-and-rye, i don't remember the night. i don't remember kissing mike, though there are pictures of it. ugh. i don't remember him confessing his undying love for kelly. i don't remember peeing on the sidewalk. i stayed in bed all of sunday. not doing that again for a while.
i shared a smoke with Neanderthal today. am beginning to think that is a lost cause.

all hallow's eve

i trekked into kelly's apartment tonight with a stack of dvds in one hand and a greasy bag of BK in the other. the dvds were planned. the bag of sin was not.
i screwed up big time at work today. i don't even want to get INTO it. anyway, after work i was so depressed that i slunk into burger king, and ate my whopper hunched over like the food-loving fool that i am.

halloween wasn't going to be very big. kelly and i just watched the shining, which is one of my favorite movies. we decided that nobody does contempt like jack nicholson does. he is the master of the ugly sneer, the how-could-you-be-so-damn-thick look. we also watched more eddie izzard, as usual.
my pals and gals in victoria are probably partying it up right now. its probably better that i did not go...because a) i can't afford it and b) my habit of getting posessive when it comes to The Engineer do not mix well with the random hook-ups that usually happen at parties. no doubt i would have forced something to happen, which in itself is probably the worst idea i could have right now.
Neanderthal and i were texting earlier, but that seems to have slowed down...coinciding, i'm guessing, with his drinking speeding up. tonight when kelly and i walked to schlockbuster and then to the 711 for soda to mix ourselves up some drinks, downtown across the water looked so pretty and so alive, i wished we were down there. but now i'm remembering i have a job interview at reitman's tomorrow (don't know how to feel about that), and a huge ass paper due soon, and a serious VISA bill probably in the mail at this very moment.

right now i can hear all these weird thumps and dragging noises outside. no joke. i am a huge horror movie fan, but i don't know how long kelly and i are going to be trying to fall asleep in separate rooms. happy halloweenie.

return of the bumpasaurus

it rain, rain, rained today. i suppose i should've expected it, and expect some more of it, but still. it was impossible to get out of bed this morning, especially after yesterday. last night went well though. farah who was FOH manager was this crazy middle eastern lady who called me "my angel" and "my sweetheart" and kept messing with me over the headset. "HEAD USHER!" "this is head usher." "nothing, i wanted to make sure you were listening." for the second half we hung out in the office playing solitaire, where i lost every game and farah kept yelling "you loser! you loser! i am going to laugh so hard, i think this will be my death, yes?"

my secret crush on Neanderthal seems to be waning. i say 'seems to be' because depending on what time of day you ask me it seems to differ. i don't know why. i do know now, however, that he is possibly the only other person in the world who knows what the phantom tollbooth is. he also remembered bedknobs and broomsticks far too well for someone who apparently only watched it when they were a kid. i find myself saying "fuck" to everything he says, "fuck thats awesome", "fuck that shit", "for fuck's sake". its not what i would call stimulating conversation. then again, my language has gone down the toilet since i started living on my own.

i have not used construction paper in ages. i just spent the past three hours making a cd for kelly, since her roommate/friend is moving back to alberta tomorrow and we will be watching scary movies at her place. i made a slipcover for it too...on the front is an owl, saying "hoo hoo...who's cd?"
i also just listened to sir mix-a-lot for three solid hours. you didn't think it could be done? well, now it can.

i won't. i? won't. i? won't. i? won't. i? won't. i? won't.

after the ultimate stress of the Ulcer-Inducing Project on monday, i needed a smoke. badly. and just like that, a month of cigarette-free disappears. Tristen was my generous benefactor in this cave-in. i love tristen. i've never met anybody so relaxed, and who doesn't think they are above anybody. everybody says they don't think they are better than anyone, that they are nice and friendly and will talk to anybody - even if they don't say it, they think it, i do it too - but tristen is the ONLY person i have met who will actually follow through. the sort of person who after only one time meeting them you feel like you could talk to about anything.
and he is not stingy with his smokes. that is a blessed rarity.

Neanderthal helped me out with that too yesterday. baaaarf. don't know what to do there. halloween is also giving me grief. let's not forget last halloween - how could i? do i forget anything with big? no. my brain refuses to forget these things. tanya told me "people remember birthdays and anniversaries, but they don't remember every day of the year with their ex." then she bought me a blizzard. thank God for tanya.
anyways. i'm not likely to forget standing beside big at bright eyes, holding my cassadaga record to my chest and beginning to cry when he began playing the first day of my life, a song that big used to sing to me. and big just standing there, a foot away from me, mute. why would you ever go to a concert with your ex, using tickets you had bought as an anniversary present for each other? why? i'm not likely to forget the asian girl next to me, punching big on the arm and telling him i was crying. and him stepping to stand further away from me. i'm not likely to forget running out of mac hall, past josh and matt with confused looks on their faces. i'm not likely to forget sitting on the steps for the rest of the concert, plugging my ears and wishing it was over. seeing big in my mind, standing that way he did with his stupid hands in his stupid pockets and that silent, angry look on his face. i ruined bright eyes for both of us, his face said. fuck bright eyes. fuck conor oberst. fuck big's favorite band. fuck the first day of my life, fuck at the bottom of everything, fuck bowl of oranges. fuck that i can still hear big's voice in my head and the way he used to sing those to me.

i won't listen to bright eyes anymore.

news bulletin

LATE NIGHT FACEBOOKING WITH NEANDERTHAL

i know i'm into you, i don't know what to do.

fart. what began as hmm-you're-good-looking attitude about Neanderthal has turned into ohmigod-you-are-in-the-room-and-i-can't-look-at-you-because-i-want-to-date-you-and-had-a-dream-about-you-last-night type. attitude. fuck.
this makes my life ten times more awkward then it already is. when did this happen?? when? i hate having a crush. you get all awkward around them, and jealous when other people talk about them, and nervous that you're going to run into them making out with some girl you've never met at a bar. i got so stressed out about it that i caved and had a smoke. fuck. i was doing so well.

anyways. today was our last class with duncan. i was so bummed. we also presented our project, and sophie never showed...ughhh. i can't believe kelly and i spent nine hours in the coffeeshop doing that project yesterday. though it did lead to the birth of the best immature thing i have ever been a part of...
"there's way to insert this, I KNOW IT!!"
"...that's what she said."

just like your big brother bob

i got a haircut, and got a real job.
i didn't actually get a haircut. i cut my own hair like, last week, in the sink in my bathroom. i don't see why not. i can't afford to get one.

am now working fridays at ebrahimi accounting and tax services. lots of numbers, lots of excel spreadsheets. i hate numbers and excel spreadsheets, but i liked today. my boss matthew ebrahimi is a cool guy. today he shouted at me through the glass window in his office "every day it is getting colder. every day it is getting colder, and every day i am getting older." then he laughed.
he also gave me some persian bread, which i actually thought was a rug because its huge and flat and wrapped in plastic. i thought it was leopard print. he showed it to me and i said "that's pretty." then he gave it to me and told me to eat it for breakfast with eggs and cheese. i've never been so confused.

now i'm home and my feet are FREEZING and i can't seem to shake this cold. ughhh. midterm on thursday went well...i hope. i sneezed and sniffled and coughed all over a certain Neanderthal on thursday too. not so cool. doing inventory count in the storage room with him...awkward. for me at least. i hate crushes.
sniffle.