i'll start wearing purple

ughh. i have been at the coffeeshop since 8 this morning working on this fucking damn paper. and by 'working' i mean i have written one and a half paragraphs. its due in four hours. i cannot do this.

giorgio bordello is telling me to start wearing purple for him now. it reminds me of last week when kelly and i went to the anza club for tight & bright, a party for the langara grad students. one of whom is my cousin cole, who i haven't seen in at least seven years. i was standing amidst the sea of spandex and pink tights, wondering whether he would even recognize when suddenly somebody was hugging me. one thing at least facebook is good for - people know what you look like now. probably the only thing it is good for, at this point. it was amazingly wonderful to see cole, and to talk to someone about my father's side of the family for once. we were both wearing purple skinny jeans. we even had a moment when we were standing talking and drinking, both scratching our heads with the same hand like a mirror image. you can't tell we're related. i found it awesome that we were very much alike after all this time. "i always thought you were the shit" i told him "you were always older and cool". "i always thought you were eleven" he said. apparently he's going on a tour of japan next year. see what i mean? the shit.

i can't do this. i've stopped caring about school. i've stopped caring in general. i don't know if its this damn rainy weather, or the fact that i've been in school for the past three months, or exhaustion from two jobs, or the past few weeks without a smoke (except for yesterday). maybe i miss home more than i thought. maybe i shouldn't really be in this program right now. maybe i should actually talk to people from calgary, even though i go out of my way to avoid talking to them. maybe its all these fucking money troubles i've been having. maybe i should just take a clue from the guy next to me and watch Futurama on my laptop for an hour in the coffeeshop.
that sounds nice.