i think i'm getting an ulcer

sometimes i really don't understand the entire university system. i may have missed something here, but it seems to me that giving assignments so big i have to skip class in order to finish them seems like a step backwards.

i do have work this weekend. the ladies at reitman's are really nice. that doesnt mean i won't want to kill myself after my seven hour shift on saturday. oh, and i just found out that my tuition is six hundred dollars more than i thought. i just about had a meltdown in boyd's class the other day and actually had to leave. i couldn't stand being in there any longer.
it seems like everybody i know is freaking out. everybody is broke and stressed and bitchy. kelly's new roommate thomas is giving her grief. sweetest guy i have ever met, but sure can act dumb. the other week she went through some awful shit too, so she has been staying at my place lately. which is fine, but tonight i was by myself for a few hours and it. was. awesome. i love everybody at school, but the idea of three weeks without seeing them every day sounds pretty fuckin rad right about now.

bryce confused me beyond belief. a lovely brunch. watched a movie later that night. kissed in the rain. was pretty much bowled over by the cliche-ness of it all. talked tuesday night. went to his place wednesday night and ended up staying over...we didn't have sex. i'm not stupid. but i was so happy to spend the night with him. awkward morning. didn't talk for three days. a stupid conversation at reggae night on the phone. i asked him "bryce, do you want to hang out at all anymore?" he told me "that is the rudest thing." alrighty. called me last night to hang out.
I DO NOT SPEAK MAN LANGUAGE. manguage.

jean-marc says, "it will be not fun." amen jean-marc.

why do i crave coffee at 8:30 at night? i believe that's what they call an addiction. as of saturday that will be two weeks without a smoke. not that i was heavily into it to begin with, but i'm still proud.
what is this going on on so you think you can dance? i thought the auditions were over? why am i watching this? oh, God. i am such a bitch. amy broke her foot and keeps asking me to call her, but honestly. i don't know the girl that well. i was friends with her brother two years ago, i'm not sixteen years old, and i want to be there for the lady but...

finally finished my two projects. discovered i got a b+ on duncan's test. no comments on my fucking brilliance, but not bad. we now have to go in groups of four for a presentations project. fuck nick for being so hot in a manly, neanderthal sort of way.
the people on so you think you can dance are shuffling around in awkward pair like they're at a junior high school. and i'm eating scotch broth.

when things aren't going your way, see a movie. even if it's a bad one.

i had a dream saturday night that i found out big had impregnated and was now engaged to my friend eve, who by the way is 24 and has never laid eyes on big in her life. i think. i woke up halfway through my sobbing admonition to a very pregnant and wide-eyed eve that it was very hard for me and she could probably never understand and i could probably never be truly happy for her. it was very sad.
so the end of my weekend wasn't off to an amazing start. going to white rock and seeing my uncle and aunt was very good. youth church was amazing. i don't know if i'm ready to go back to church yet. so much of it reminds me of my life with big. but i felt good.
stayed at tanya's last night, realized today that i left my toothbrush there. toothpaste and everything. as if a house of three people would not have a single bottle of toothpaste. why do i bring these things? i took one look at tanya's giant deep freeze and just about wept with reverance. say HELLO to my three inch wide freezer which, by the way, turned a lovely box of fudgesicles into bags of milk mush with sticks in them. and yet i had to defrost my watermelon. why?
in my haste to leave saturday when the power was out in my kitchen, i forgot i had a pot of creamed corn i was heating up on my stovetop. which has no actual stove, its just two elements. which i had left on. i walked in the door today and thought, what the hell in here stinks? this place smells like burnt shit. and boy is it hot in here. i lifted up the lid on the pot to find a perfect round cake of petrified black cream corn. it was disgusting. it was coal.
my house still smells like burnt air. i'm surprised my landlords didn't call the fire department.

in dj low's class today we had a test. now, duncan is the man, in my books, and i want him to think highly of me. very highly. so highly in fact that he would say to me in his dignified gentlemanly british voice "i was very impressed by you, laura. i think that you're fucking brilliant." which he would say, if i had actually done well on this test. but i somehow doubt that. i could write a fucking NOVEL on strategic planning, but was that on this test? heavens, no. it was all external & internal output, and boards of directors, and fucking employment representative categories. i'm not going to lie, i felt a bit like crying after.
so when kelly called telling me that we were going to a movie, i wasn't about to argue. we saw the women. i was reminded once again just how much meg ryan bothers me in any movie but when harry met sally and you've got mail. she's so cutesy, and floppy, and never wears heels. she's forever wandering around in flats or weird sneakers flapping her arms and stomping and looking for junk food because of her latest break-up. don't even get me started on her in kate & leopold, where she never stops shouting and somehow CANNOT accept the fact that hugh jackman is in her living room, hers for the taking.
but at least it got my mind off of the Awful Test. tomorrow i am getting up at 7:00, making one LARGE pot of coffee, and getting work done. good plan.